This is a heartfelt message written by a friend on hard-won life lessons about relationships.

Although relationships (meaningful and spiritual ones at that) have always been my main interest, it wasn't until the last few months that I learned some important lessons on the subject. Things like:

1. The purpose of all relationships is getting to know ourselves better so that we can become the best human beings we can be instead of trying to change the person we are involved with.

2. We don't need to keep looking for love all our lives.... we just need to work on our barriers to discovering and receiving it.

3. Relationships are not about what we can get from our partner. They are about us and who we are willing to be and give as a partner ..... without any demands or expectations, otherwise what we do can only amount to manipulation and control dramas.

4. People don't deliberately start out with the intent of creating breakups and grief. I think it's more our unwillingness to resolve our own issues that ends up resulting in fracture.

5. Most of us want the people we have relationships with to think as we do, act as we do, love as we love, give what we give, and we feel hurt when they don't.... but the truth is, we are all different persons who have had different events in our past shape the way we react to life ...... understanding this should prevent us from taking anyone's reactions too personally.

6. When we are able to realize that our love is precious and we can give it unconditionally, without demands or expectations, we can't be disappointed by anyone's response to it.

7. We need to realize, accept and sometimes even forgive the people we are involved with for not representing an ideal, because the truth is, no one ever will be.

8. A "soulmate" is not someone or something mystical we need to find in our lifetime ........but instead, someone we are willing to do soul-deep work with.

9. There's nothing wrong with the differences between us and the person we are involved with.... in the end, I think they are exactly what we need..... in order to push our souls forward. Difference is dimension.

10. The coolest gift you can give someone is a safe space in which to become who they are.

11. Judgments are senseless. We are all learning the same lessons in different ways and at different times.

Learning about all this hasn't been easy .... and I have encountered an enemy that is always trying to turn me away from these truths: my ego. I am sure that like me, a lot of other people might just have a few pointers when it comes to relationships ... and I appreciate hearing about them also.